Shizaya One-shots
by Shizume Rikka
Summary: An ongoing series of Shizaya one-shots [PM me if you want to contribute to a one-shot with your ideas (topic/scene)]
1. Both Sides of a Story

Izaya and I have had a steady relationship for the past year. It kind of surprised me when the person you least expected to confess to you _confessed_ to you. Izaya was completely baffled when I said yes, to be honest, I was too. Just the thought of Izaya with someone else made me uneasy. So to confirm these feelings, I went out with him.

Everything was going so well, but now, things have been going downhill. Izaya's usually "I love humanity" complex has turned into a reserved and quiet one. One day he was the usual eccentric narcissist, but the next day it was like that part of him disappeared. It was completely replaced with an insecure and depressing personality.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya looks at me in the eyes.

"Oh sorry!" I apologized, "I guess I spaced out..."

"It's ok, what movie do you wanna see?" He stares at the selection of 5 and then to his phone.

"Hmm, how about you choose?" I nudge him.

"Eh? I always do the choosing, it's your turn." He scratches his cheek without looking up.

 _Liar_. Izaya would never let me have the chance to choose before that time happened.

"I insist, you should," I nod at him.

He looks edgy, "But-"

I protest, we start to fight.

 _Seriously, when did these meaningless conversations turn into such a big argument?_

Suddenly a beam over top of us moans in complain. It gives it's weight up and starts to fall.

"Izaya!" I cried and threw myself onto him to cover him from the beam.

My vision is a bit blurry, but it soon starts to clear up. Izaya is a couple meters away from me, nervously looking at his cellphone.

I try to turn my neck left to right, but I can't. When I try to call out to Izaya the same results happen. I look around only to where my peripheral vision could let me.

I sort of get the gist of my situation, I'm in a flashback. The annoying ones where I can't achieve an action of my own but can only be triggered when a specific checkpoint is reached.

Izaya finally takes his eyes off his phone and turns around to look at me. He was still that happy-go-lucky guy 3 months ago.

He was speaking. There was no sound, only words that appeared in front of him as if they were subtitles to a foreign language.

"Sooorry about that! Those damn business looking guys wouldn't stop bothering me!" It read.

I suddenly realize what this flashback was.

It was from that _time_.

That _time_ where everything turned into a catastrophe. I was reliving this memory, I could almost hear the words being spoken once again.

"No problem," I say.

"Yeah yeah," He does the jazz hands, "So about-"

He gets cut off by the little phone jingle that appears whenever a message is received.

"Ah- Sorry one sec!" He gives an apologetic smile and turns sideways.

 _Geez, even if it's a flashback, he's still the same old Izaya, always glued to his phone._

His beaming smile fades, his face goes pale.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

"Y-Yea, just a little mix up," He says, a trickle of sweat drops from his face.

I say nothing in return.

I should've pressed on. I should've asked what was bothering him. We'll never go back to those days.

I awake to the real world. As expected, Izaya was staying beside me the whole time.

"You're awake!" He smiles in relief.

"Yeah," I smile in return.

"I'll go call the doctor," Izaya starts to stand up, "...Shizu-?"

I quickly grab him by the arm and pull him in for a kiss.

I let go of him, "Sorry, I just got caught up in the spur of moments."

"Why apologize?" He grins unenthusiastically, his breath shaky.

I chuckle, "I guess I didn't have to... Are you gonna call the doctor?"

Izaya pauses for a second too long, "-Yea..." He starts shifting his eyes nervously.

I always hated that look he gave. It was a tense, uncomfortable look he gives when he wants to say something, but stays quiet about it.

He leaves to find the doctor.

 _Gosh, what am I doing wrong? Why is he so restless when he's with me? What am I missing?_

That night I dreamt of the good old days. When Izaya would tell me his thoughts on a topic he either likes or dislikes.

In this dream, we recite a conversation that happened when we first started dating.

"Why go to a cat show?" I asked as Izaya gives me a ticket.

"Eh?! Aren't cats the best!? They're cute, fluffly, and can be affectionate. Like for example, they'll leave their master when they're about to die! So beautiful I might cry! Haaah, I'm in love with them..."

"Eh, do they really leave?" I question in disbelief.

"What? Yes!- No? I'm gonna research this!" Izaya pulls out his phone.

"That's unnecessary," I laugh.

"Not unless you're Ikebukuro's number one information broker!" He presses a search engine app.

I pout, "I don't understand..."

I wake up to a familiar ceiling. It was the ceiling to the living room. _When did I start sleeping here?_

I stand up slowly, my mind still groggy. It was still pretty dark outside and none of our lights were turned on.

 _Where's Izaya?_

I go to our room, the blanket was messily tumbled around so Izaya was sleeping here till now. He probably went to the bathroom or something.

I see the screen of his phone illuminating the room. Izaya's phone, the object that has ruined our relationship. I start reaching for it. If only I knew what he was doing on his phone. If I knew what he was keeping behind my back maybe our lives will go back to normal.

"What're you doing?" Izaya appears from the doorway, I could hear his heavy breathing all the way from here.

"Hey, what are you doing with your phone?" I retaliated.

He stays quiet but quickly walks up to me. Izaya suddenly pushes me from behind towards the door, leaving me with no time to reach his phone. When we reach it, he uses a bit more force to push me out.

"You, of all people, don't need to know..." His tone of voice was in the most wretched and miserable way possible.

It leaves me speechless and Izaya closes the door quietly.

The next day, he acts as if that little commotion from yesterday night didn't happen. Izaya was never a fan of staying on one fight for too long. If he acts like it didn't happen then that was his awkward way of saying sorry.

The next couple of weeks were of strained conversations and small outbreaks of our temper usually resulting to a fight.

One day, I couldn't control my temper and my irritation dawned upon him.

"Why? Why can't you let me see what's on your phone?!" I barked at him.

Instead of Izaya taking a step back or even flinching in the tiniest bit, he stood still.

"...You can't," He manages to say, taking unstable gasps into the air.

I can't stop venting my anger, I was only making this worse, "You, who has always bottled up your feelings, am I not good enough? Did you not trust me? Hey, tell me Izaya?!"

"What are you so afraid of?!" He screeches.

I lost my words for a second, "N-Nothing! It should be me asking you this! Just tell me, why do you turn to your phone when looking for comfort?"

Izaya ignores what I said, "We don't need any clearing up to do, let's just keep moving forward, ok?" His face was contorted with pain.

Words seem to be flying out of my mouth, "But if you act like that then how do we keep moving forward? Im not sure how our relationship will continue..."

Izaya opens his mouth to say something but quickly changes his mind.

He lets out a sad, defeated smile as if he were saying _'no more,'_ "Yeah, me too..."

I furrowed my eyebrows, something tells me not to interrupt him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy... Hey Shizu-chan, I love you."

I turn away from his muddy eyes, I couldn't find the words to say it back to him.

1:09 AM, Orihara Izaya has disappeared.

I was out drinking only to find myself sitting on Izaya's desk. Being half sober left me with and without options, I didn't know what to do or how to act anymore. It has only been 3 days since I started living this hellish nightmare.

I look at the small picture that Izaya kept on his desk, a picture of us on our first date.

"Shit!" I slammed my arm hard on his desk and a bunch of papers start to fall everywhere.

I kneel down and hurriedly picked them up. I saw some papers that stuck out to me. _Diagnosed? Stage 4? Lung cancer?_

I freeze in my tracks, as if everything just came back, including my sadness. Tears start to fall rapidly without even knowing what clearly happened to Izaya, but I had a pretty good idea what was happening. _How could I be so blind? I really never asked him what was wrong._

The heavy burden I've been carrying has never felt this heavy in my entire life.

My silent sobs continued for the night.

I turn around from the area that Izaya has been last seen, a field of flowers. It was a windy day, windy enough for flowers to be carried above. I faced the sun and closed my eyes.

It's as if the spirit of Izaya still lingers beside me.

" _Sh..iz...u-cha..n!_ " The wind howls.

At that moment, I realized what I was afraid of.

I was afraid of change.

I was afraid of saying "I love you."

But most of all, I was afraid of losing Izaya.

I stop to look at the abandoned field of flowers one more time. Two cats snuggled with each other for their warmth. I smile.

 _"Like for example, they'll leave their master when they're about to die! So beautiful I might cry!"_

 _"I don't understand..."_

Izaya, I now understand why you're deeply fond of cats.

 **~END~**


	2. What's Your Answer?

**_(Izaya's POV)_**

 _Red, all I see is red. Everywhere I go, it follows me. That rich, blood red colour. It's never-ending._

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

I don't see Izaya often these days and when I do, he's usually out of it. His usual scheming tone is gone, it's like he's a bit more mellow these days. I feel like it's affecting me too. I forgot what it's like to get hyped up and go rampaging all over the city to hunt down a certain guy. And that certain guy lost his spark. I'm a bit frustrated about this.

I pick up Izaya by his hood, "I thought I smelt a flea around here."

"Oho, you're dog-like senses never fail to amuse me," he tries to break away.

Izaya seems to be acting fine, as if his depressing stage passed on, like it never happened.

"Don't fuck with me, I'll kill you right here, right now!" I growl.

"I'm not that easy to catch," Izaya slips away from his jacket.

"Hey! Come back here!" I start to chase him.

 _Yes, this is more like it!_ This game of cat and mouse begins. If our usual routine were to somehow disappear I would be... lost.

 _Shit! I lost sight of Izaya!_ I was sure he went under this bridge. I look down at his jacket. I was unconsciously holding onto this thing. _What am I supposed to do with this?_ I should just throw it on the road like the piece of trash it is. I held the jacket above my head and started to throw it away, but I froze. I couldn't do it. I couldn't let go of Izaya's jacket no matter how hard I tried. It's fucking agitating!

Izaya whistles from above the bridge, "Would you look at that! Are you living up to the name _Monster?_ Or are you actually human? You couldn't throw my jacket away!"

"Heh!" I scoffed, "As if I couldn't sense your presence from a mile away. I knew you were there and I'm making sure to hold onto to this... as ransom!"

He chuckles, "Ransom?! What are you, five?"

"Yes!" I decided to play along.

Izaya starts cracking up, even to go as far as banging on the railing, "Correct answer!"

"You better be good at negotiating if you want this pile of crap you call a jacket back." Everything I'm saying is a bluff, but if Izaya sees the tiniest crack in this I'd be better off dead. I'd rather die than let him know that I couldn't throw away his jacket.

"In all seriousness I would like my jacket back, the nights in August can sure be cold." He hugs himself.

"You should freeze yourself to death, saves everyone in Ikebukuro the trouble." I shot up the middle finger.

"Ouch! Shizu-chan how could you be so harsh?!" He coos.

"Oh! I have a plan!" _This plan is absolute bullshit._ "If you want your jacket back buy me some alcohol and meet me at my place." I take out my phone to see the time. It's 11:27 PM.

"Ugh? Why would I go do something so troublesome for my jacket?" He pauses, "Buuut, if I do go with your plans I don't know your address. And I prefer it to stay like that." He crosses his arms.

"Did you forget that August has it's cold nights?" I countered.

"...Correct answer," Izaya clicks his tongue and takes out his phone, "What's your number?"

"Eh?" I'm a bit surprised that he's actually going with this.

"Your phone number!" He impatiently commands.

I tell him my number.

"There, I'll send you a message, text me your address there." He puts his phone back in his pocket, "I'll be there around 12 o'clock." Izaya waves goodbye.

And just like that, he was gone.

It leaves me speechless. _Oh! My address._ I open my phone to realize that I received the message Izaya sent. It read _"Die."_ I crack a smile, what was I expecting? It's Izaya after all.

I open the door for Izaya.

The least likely thing I would ever expect to be doing is to open the door for Izaya like we're long-time friends. As if we were old pals catching up with each other as we sit and talk with bottles of beer. If only that were the case

"Yuck! What kind of run-down apartment do you live in?" Izaya's already starting with the insults.

"Welcome oh honoured guest," I rolled my eyes.

Izaya gives me a death stare and continues to bitch around, "But props to your apartment, trashy apartment for your trashy personality."

I twitch, I'm one step away from killing this guy, "I still have your jacket, if you want it in one piece then you should do as I say. Submit to me."

"Ohh~ Kinky!" Izaya nudges me on the side of my ribs.

 _This guy!_

"So, why am I bringing you drinks?" He sits down on a floor mat.

"I need a drinking buddy for the night, Tom-san is out of the city this month." I yawn.

"Ewww!" Izaya whines, "You called me your buddy!"

I kick him on the back and sit across from him, "Pass me a beer."

The flea looks as if he wants to retaliate but chooses to stay quiet, "Here you are, your majesty." He hands me a beer.

I open it, "Now! Drink up!"

We're completely wasted and it's only 3 AM. Both Izaya and I passed out on the floor. I'm surprised that he could be drunk but not spill a secret or two. Guess he's the quiet drunk type.

It's pitch black in the room. I remembered that I accidentally broke my lights with a beer bottle. I turn to face Izaya's back side as he's sleeping. I reach out to him, careful not to touch any broken pieces of glass, and lay the back of my hand on his nape.

"Your hand is cold, stupid!" Izaya mumbles.

"You're awake?" I took my hand off of him.

"Of course I'd be awake, as if I'd sleep with someone who's constantly trying to kill me." He sits up.

"Tonight's an exception you know..." I get up slowly.

"I'll be taking my leave now, where's my jacket?" He asks.

I take his jacket out of my closet, "Here you go."

He grabs it out of my hands without thanking me and puts it on. He hurries to the front door while I follow behind him.

"This is weird, but... Bye." He tells me without looking in my eyes.

"Bye." I yawn.

I close the door and dive onto the ground. I still feel groggy and close my eyes. No time to lay out the futon, I could last a night on the floor.

I recall the last few moments I had with Izaya. _Hmm, Izaya's flushed face is sort of... cute._

 _ **(Izaya's POV)**_

I blow out a puff of air with my breath. I look up, it sure can get cold in the nights of August. I put my hood on, I caught the scent of it. _My, this is aggravating! My jacket smells just like him..._

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

"Funny bumping into you, flea," I pat Izaya's shoulder.

My heart skips a beat.

"Shizu-chan." He turns around, he looks like he didn't get enough sleep.

"You seem tired," I act like I'm concerned about his health.

"Thanks to you, fuckhead, all you did was rant all night. It makes my head go dizzy." Izaya rubs his head.

"Well to be fair, you don't say anything when you're drunk, I might as well do the talking." I explain.

"Talking more like fucking shouting," he stretches his arms out. Izaya looks at me in the eyes, "But-"

"But what?"

"I had fun." He realizes what he just said and turns away.

I smirk, "Then, wanna do it again?"

"F-Fine," He grumbles.

"W-Wait really?" I was taken aback.

"Yes really! ...What? You don't wan't me to?" He shouts and a few people turn to look at us.

"Then, I'll see you at night," I scratch my chin.

"C-Co-Correct answer!" He nods and runs away.

I cover my face with my hands. _This is like a dream come true!_

Izaya comes to my house around midnight with beer and we just talk, I guess. It's sort of a weekly habit now. Something we both came to an agreement with. Our peace treaty for the time being.

 _(Izaya's POV)_

I can hear a voice in my head. Criticizing my every move.

 _"How come you get to walk? How come you get to smile and laugh? How come you get to live normally? How could you live normally when you know you-"_

 _STOP!_

I laugh. _I did it for fun. Haha... Fun! Yes, it was only for fun. There's your answer, happy?!_

But the talking only continues. _"You know you did it! You can't escape it! Live with it, live with this curse I've put upon you forever until you die."_

I snap back to reality and check the time. It's 11:45, I should get going!

I'm walking to Shizu-chan's house but the same voice appears to taunt me.

 _"Die, die, die, die, die! Wouldn't it better for you to die?"_

 _No, go away..._

 _"I don't know why you keep running away from this. It's time to face it, confess your sins."_

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

Izaya's here, he barges into my living room. No greeting, no nothing, we just start drinking. It's a bit awkward today, I'll stay quiet for a little while.

"You see," Izaya starts off, "I killed someone."

We were only a few drinks in. A bit under the somber side. If I had to go with my instinct, he's not lying about this.

Izaya looks at me, "Judging from my personality, it isn't much of a surprise to you, right?"

I nod.

"Correct answer," he sighs in relief and takes a sip from his bottle, "I didn't kill them because I had a grudge on them or anything. No hard feelings, ya know? Its just... My mind thought of a twisted and wretched excuse at the last second. That maybe one less person on the planet wasn't so bad after all.

I didn't want to hide the body though. It's my first ever masterpiece, it should be up where everyone could see. But I did do a hell of a good job making sure I won't be the one getting tracked down for this.

I know we've been having this sort of drinking meet up and such, but- I regret to ask you of such an impossible favour." He looks at me.

"What is it?" I gulped.

Izaya puts down his bottle and stares at the table. "May I kill you too?"

How was I supposed to react to this? "...Sure." I remain calm.

He chuckles, "Correct answer."

 _Was I supposed to be surprised about this? At this point I would've done anything Izaya asked for. I mean just a few weeks ago I realized that I'm head over heels for this guy. There's nothing else to lose._

"Thanks." Izaya reaches for my neck across the table.

I hear a knock.

"Heiwajima-san, someone's here to see you." The nurse says.

"Let them in." I straighten up from my bed.

"They'll be here shortly," The nurse nods and goes away.

I hear another knock a few second after.

"It's not a surprise to see you as the first person to check up on me." I toy around with the IV that's strapped onto me.

"I didn't bring anything cheesy like flowers but, how are you?" Izaya asks.

"I'm ok." I motion him to come closer.

"Good good! Correct answer," He pulls up a stool and sits beside me. He's a bit uneasy at first, but finally starts to talk, "I guess I owe you an explanation for what happened that night."

Izaya sighs, "You see, I wasn't scared to end your life there. But something inside of me didn't want to do it. It didn't want me to see you leave. Disgusting right?" He half-heartedly laughs.

I glance at the floor, then to Izaya, "No, it's not disgusting." I assure him.

"Wrong answer, try again." Izaya clenches his fists.

"It's not disgusting." I say again.

He shakes his head, "Wrong answer! Wrong, wrong, wrong! You're supposed to say its disgusting! If you don't-" He pauses, "If you don't... Then how will I be able to erase these feelings for you? They're such a bother that even breathing next to you is a hard task. Reject these feelings! I despise it! Please!" He pleads.

"Izaya, has it ever occurred to you that maybe I felt the same way too?" I caressed his cheek.

Izaya shot up. "No, no, you're lying! I mean- I killed someone! Not to mention but a guy liking another guy? Weird right?"

I pull him into an embrace, "The only thing weird is that you won't accept it!"

"I- I can't!" He tries to pull away.

"Then I'll make you accept it," We bump our noses together and I rustle through his hair. Our lips slowly inch to one another and I close my eyes.

We kiss for the first time.

"Izaya, are you ok?" I ask.

He's been invested in that corner for too long.

"Haaah?! Do you think I'd be ok?" He exaggerates.

"Is that a no?"

"Fucking duh!" He comes closer and shakes his head, "Eugh! I kissed you! Is the world coming to an end?" He dreads.

"Want me to do it again?" I grin.

"..." He stops talking and leans closer to me. "J-Just this once."


End file.
